Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
And then my night got REAL pukey
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
