if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
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