matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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