please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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