I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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