the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
