Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
