wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
