the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
