so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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