She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
