You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
