Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
it's not cheating when I paid for it
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
