i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We need a shit load of segways right now
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
