his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
