Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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