why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
