Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
