There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
