Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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