Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
