My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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