I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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