DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
