You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
