No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
