I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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