Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My Higher Power is John Stamos
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
