My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
