with your own penis?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Randomize
