I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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