a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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