All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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