Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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