she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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