he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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