I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
