We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he quoted the bible to break up with me
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
