at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
