so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
