VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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