Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
