Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
