If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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