I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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