Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
