Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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