the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
