I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
