If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
