you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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