the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
