really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
